2011

"Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. And you do."

Time, what a strange thing it is...didnt realize how special it was until I got out of my Dr's appointment yesterday. My surgery is today, lets hope it goes well.

“Dammit I’m mad” is the same spelt backwards, mind blown

Happy Birthday Mama Eva, miss you very much. RIP

Oh the joy of getting my wisdom teeth out around Christmas. My little sister snapped this photo while i was knocked out. So much for the Christmas cookies I look forward to each year.

"There will always be people you can’t believe you were friends with, guys you can’t believe you liked, and people you can’t believe you lived without."

Rage

Sadly, I wont be going to see dosio and the werks for new years...but life goes on

2011

Please, let this be the year I've been waiting for...

South America..?!

Baby, it's cold outside...

Now accepting cuddle buddy applications ;)

I'm sick and all I want is someone to take care of me....It's also finals week and my birthday :(

Because of you....

I've incorporated salads to my diet.


...Some things, I can't let go

Happy Birthday Julia

Love you forever and ever, girlfriend!

Sagitarius horoscope

Sunday, Dec 5, 2010
Dreams, wishes, and fantasies about love are strong now, and you may be infatuated with someone you meet at this time, only to be disappointed later when you discover this person does not fulfill all of your expectations. You are simply not seeing people objectively now. Your imagination is very active and creative, however, and so is your yearning for something beautiful. The artist in you emerges, and your creations please and inspire you.


^^This is on point!

You would think he was the nicest boy in the world...but unfortunately, I saw a different side of him that (hopefully) no one has. The name calling and degrading comments are over and done with. I just hope he finds what he is looking for. I am FREE!!!!!!! Free from his destructive influence. I'm beginning to truly live with the benefit of clarity and balance. I wish him well in my heart and I pray he gets the help he needs. I cannot help or hang on any longer. I AM FREE

Bad judgement of character....

I should have known from the beginning. Why did I ignore the signs? People aren't who you think they are...

We were sitting in your attic room which was a mess of dirty white sheets and clothing. The afternoon sunshine was peering through the attic window and you draped your arm around my shoulder. I wish things could have always been that simple. You always saw the glass half empty, never half full. Each hit of acid took you farther and farther away from me, there you stand in my mind, where you no longer would in reality. You are beautiful, even though your eyes are empty. Today is more about living and yesterday was more about drugs.

Night time vision

For reals, it was dope. Hope everyone took a minute to look up at the sky.

Wild and Free

...Forever wild and free

Wish things were as simple and pooh and piglet...

"The way I see it, we’re all a little bit insane, somewhat strange. Remember childhood and the psychedelic summers, unscripted, crescendos of heat swollen ecstasy, with warm oranges and citrus fruits rinsing your soft palate with their fragrant juices, sylph bodies bare and browned, unbuttoned sundresses, and sea salt in uncombed tresses. When classrooms couldn’t keep you, and you were young, drunk from the sun."

Relationships

In our relationships, how much can we allow them to become new, and how much do we cling to what they used to be yesterday?

“

—

Ram Dass

"Our ancestors lived out of doors. They were as familiar with the night sky as most of us are with our favorite television programs."

Carl Sagan

Visual stimulation

(Nat Geo '86)

(Anthony Cudahy)

Dear dream snatcher,

I need to stop this madness. I’m always dreaming, wishing for the impossible, and it leaves me crashing back down through the stratosphere and into reality when i wake up. falling from dreams isn't fun, my dear. it leaves bruises in places where you can't reach, you can't soothe, you can't heal.

Today he called me his ex-girlfriend's name...

I don’t know if I want him if I can’t have all of him. I know that’s a lie, of course I want him. I just don’t want to want him. We connect though. We have chemistry, we’re comfortable in each other. We have become all too comfortably numb.

What happens when he wants her back?

I already know the answer to that.

Today he called my his ex-girlfriend's name, what am I supposed to think?

Maybe one day I can look at him and say, “You’re so not worth this” and actually believe it. Maybe one day I’ll be able to think about someone else.

Stained Glass

Ever since I was a child, my mother would bring me to church every Sunday and I would zone out and stare at the stained glass windows. Im not sure why Im so drawn to stained glass, but I cant get enough! One day I hope to have windows such as these in my bedroom.

Stand by me

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

These are some quotes I’ve underlined in the book so far:

“we can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.”

“she loved to walk down the street with a book under her arm. it had the same significance for her as an elegant cane for the dandy a century ago. it differentiated her from others.”

“she wanted to see the vltava. she wanted to stand on its banks and look long and hard into its waters, because the sight of the flow was soothing and healing. the river flowed from century to century, and human affairs play themselves out on its banks. play themselves out to be forgotten the next day, while the river flows on.”

“chance and chance alone has a message for us. everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. only chance can speak to us. we read its message much as gypsies read the images made by coffee grounds at the bottom of a cup.”

I love the first and the last quotes so much.

Everything

Wow.

Peace.

Letting go

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short

- author unknown

How do you know..?

Hindu Rope

My friends and I went to the Franklin Conservatory today to look at the new display of succulents they had. Before going, I said "I'm not going to buy any plants"...well, I lied. My friends talked me into buying a Hindu Rope plant (native to INDIA). Yes, it had my name all over it.
My room is slowly being overtaken by all my plants and I kinda like it. My room is my favorite place to be, there's so much going on and so much to look at. Besides, I love taking care of my plants. Is there such a thing as having too many plants? Am I slowly becoming a "plant hoarder"? Is there therapy for this?

Why do people have falling-outs?

Time, time...what is time?

Time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, you can use it. You can spend it. But you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.

dream date

Describe your dream date:

There would be a museum involved. In New York. Hopefully in the Fall because I love the Fall. It would also involve a dried leaves fight, hot apple cider and a pumpkin patch...and plants, lots of plants and succulents!

Bon Iver, marry me?

“listen; there’s a hell of a good universe next door: let’s go.”

- e.e. cummings

My head in the clouds

"Beyond early childhood, most of us learn to keep our minds shut to the possibility that other worlds exist beyond this seemingly solid one we accept as "reality". We are taught from an early age that "other worlds" do not exist and make-believe is for babies. We are trained to void those aspects of our being that belong to other relms of insight or spiritual manifestation. The narrowed consciousness of "adulthood" is a rigidly defined trance caused by the world we have created. The whole thing makes me wonder how many people are in mental hospitals or institutions because some spiritual entity was trying to work through them or communicate with them in some way."

--Just a little excerpt from the book Breaking Open the Head. If you haven't read this, I HIGHLY recommend it.

Today, I was in the middle of making "yummy-yummies" and my mother starts breakin it down...When Olivia got the camera, she stopped dancing. It was hilarious. She must have been dancing for about 4 mins (non-stop) prior to this video.

Play date with mum

Mum and I went to the Medina Antique Mall today. If you haven't been, I highly suggest going. We spent hours (at least 3) in there browsing up and down each aisle. I had my eyes on some beautiful stained glass pieces that were taken from churches and old homes in the 1070's. They had just about everything you can imagine in this place. Ranging from old milk bottles to dolls and tables to jewelry...they even had old sports equipment. It was awesome! I couldn't leave without purchasing a hanging plant holder! I have been looking for one for a while.

The last picture is my new purchase, the hanging basket...and the spider plant was a baby that I cut off from its mother last fall. It has gotten so big! I need to replant it soon. It even has sprouted little spider babies!